Devin loved animals, and in particular, he loved raccoons. They were his favorite for so many reasons. Of all the animals, they were simply the best. They were so incredibly awesome, that he decided to treat himself to an early birthday present and get a giant raccoon tapestry he had seen at a shop in the mall. Besides, he had been eyeing the tapestry for a while but had been holding off on getting it mostly because it was a tapestry. Had it been a poster, he would have snatched it up long ago.

It was his day off, and he figured it would be a great way to spend the morning. As he picked up the keys to his car, Devin felt the phone in his pocket vibrate. He stopped and pulled it out, thinking his forgetful Aunt might be sending him another round of birthday wishes. Her text earlier that morning had actually started him thinking about his birthday in the first place.

Kayden: Hey! I know we don’t know each other well, but I wanted to see if you wanted to join me on an adventure :)

Devin read over the message. It was true, he hardly knew Kayden at all. They had met at a mutual friend’s party several months ago. There had been other parties and events since then, but they could hardly have been called friends. Still, the idea of an adventure sounded fun.

Me:Sounds fun. Who all is going?

Kayden: Not sure yet. Still waiting on replies from Maddy, Tom, Brad, Chelsie, and Rachel. Hold on, I’ll add them to the group so they can read the messages

There were five buzzes as Kayden added the other people to the conversation.

Me: Know what time?

Kayden: Probably around dusk?

Me: Probably?

Kayden: Yeah, you know a bit about raccoons, right?

Me Yeah I do!!

Devin broke out in a grin as he read the part about the raccoons. He had no idea Kayden had an interest in raccoons too! This was turning out to be an awesome early birthday celebration.

Kayden: Any idea of when they come out? I’m thinking we can find some by dumpsters?

Me: Dusk should work. Though they may be more active at night depending on the area :)

Kayden: I thought so. I’m hoping to catch them unaware so we may have to go later at night.

Me: Unaware?

Kayden: Yeah, I want to shoot them :D

How he managed to keep a hold of his phone, Devin had no idea. He felt like Kayden had punched him in the gut. All thoughts of a happy adventure vanished only to be replaced by a terrible dread.

Me: what?

Kayden: I’ve been meaning to shoot them for a while now. They’ve actually been on my list. Got a few bunnies a while back. Even managed to get a den of foxes. They were NOT easy!! Hahaha

The sense of dread grew stronger with Kayden’s maniacal laugh. Who shot bunnies?! Devin wanted to know. Or foxes?! And then laughed about it!!

Me: I don’t know what to say :(

Kayden: You busy? :( I thought you would enjoy coming out with us. No worries, I’ll make sure to get some good shots off! Once they’re cleaned up, I can get them online. You’d be surprised how well they sell. It’s like its art or something, hahaha ;)

Me: This is sick!!!

Kayden: ???

Me: You know I love raccoons! This is…sick!!

Kayden: Oooooh, you mean sick as in cool sick! I thought you would like this

“What?!” Devin dropped his phone on the kitchen table and sat down before he could pass out from shock. “What is going on?” he asked, his head in his hands and his eyes glued to the horror still unfolding on the screen of his phone.

Rachel: Hey guys!

“Finally! Someone who understands,” Devin said with a gusty sigh.

Rachel: You weren’t supposed to tell Devin yet! It was supposed to be a surprise!!

Me: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE?!

Rachel: Yup!! ^_^ for your birthday

Kayden: I get the sense that something is amiss…

Me: YOU THINK?!

Maddy: You guys type too fast. What is going on?

Me: They are HEARTLESS! That’s what’s going on!!!

Tom: Uh, guys. Just read this whole thing. Devin. Deep breath bud. Kayden is a PHOTOGRAPHER. He SHOOTS things with a CAMERA. And then CLEANS UP the photos and sells the prints online for people. There are NO dead bunnies and NO dead foxes. Yesterday he mentioned taking some PHOTOS of raccoons and we all thought you would be interested in joining us on an adventure to go find some. NO RACCOONS WILL BE HARMED IN THIS ADVENTURE

Me: oh

Kayden: oops

Kayden: Sometimes I forget that not everyone knows I’m a photographer. Sorry about that

Rachel: Wow, just…wow

Maddy: WTF IS GOING ON?!?!

Rachel: It’s ok. Just read the whole thing Maddy.

Kayden: Well, this is turning out to be quite the adventure.

Me: Or quite the MISadventure

Kayden: lol

Rachel: Hey guys, Brad and Chelsie haven’t read this yet :D ahahahahahahaha

Rachel: PS Happy Early Birthday Devin!!!!

Hope you had a good laugh at this happy horror story! Stay creative ;)

Shot provided by Nicholas J. Klein – He may have inspired this with an idea to go “shoot” some raccoons.